(This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2025, wherein 10 posts are published in 15 days. This is the seventh one. The prompt: Write about a skill you’ve learned outside of school that shaped your identity.)
When we talk about skills, they broadly fall into two categories: hard skills and soft skills.
Hard skills relate to our area of specialization: the work we do for a living, or the expertise we build over a career. Soft skills, on the other hand, are tied to our behaviour and personality: sincerity, commitment, diligence, discipline, conscientiousness, patience, empathy, team spirit, and so on.
Many of my hard skills were picked up during my school years: my love for language, clarity in expression, and brevity in communication, for instance.
EQUANIMITY
The one skill I learned outside of school that truly shaped my identity is a soft skill: equanimity.
This wasn’t something I encountered in school or college. It wasn’t part of any syllabus. In fact, the spirit of school life is often about raising the bar, pushing limits, being proactive, taking initiative, striving to excel, and doing our best to get ahead.
I first heard about equanimity from my father, who was a teacher. He had cultivated this skill over time. He never reacted abruptly, to good news or bad. His emotions were measured, his responses restrained. He often spoke about the importance of developing this quality.
Equanimity is about being cool-headed rather than reacting impulsively. It’s about being slightly detached, not just from material things, but also from one’s own thoughts and feelings. It’s the ability to observe them as temporary mental events, which in turn helps reduce stress.
It’s not an easy skill to develop, especially given the realities of the world we live in; a world driven by a plethora of often misplaced priorities. The challenge lies in steering clear of external expectations and aligning our own priorities with what truly matters. Still, it’s a goal I’ve always worked towards.
HOW IT HELPED ME
In my over three-and-a-half decades in the media, equanimity has helped me enormously. Journalism is inherently stressful; it demands speed, precision, and emotional resilience. In the newsroom, where deadlines clash with breaking news and egos flare under pressure, equanimity is often the only recourse.
When people around me got worked up, equanimity helped me pause before reacting, listen before judging, and lead without dominating. It allowed me to give space to others; and in doing so, to distance myself from their anxiety. Not easy, but necessary.
One aspect of equanimity is detachment. And that’s precisely what journalism requires; where clarity must take precedence over bias. Equanimity helped me separate urgency from panic, and truth from noise.
While managing my team, I always tried to de-escalate tension and make decisions I believed were fair. Often, I delayed judgment, and sometimes even action, especially in emotionally charged situations.
ITS BIGGEST REWARD
All this may sound noble, even virtuous. But take it from me: it’s not easy to practise. As I mentioned earlier, the expectations placed on us by the world around us often run counter to what equanimity demands.
So much so that one might even feel it’s a disadvantage. But I’m glad I’ve chosen to value emotional well-being above all else.
The greatest reward of equanimity is a sense of inner peace; and the ability to recover quickly from upsets.
It’s worth it.
A great blessing, I'd say. Most people don't acquire equanimity until late into life.
ReplyDeleteAn excellent writeup, true and candid, it cannot be improved!
ReplyDeleteThank you Pradeep ji
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteOh, this post didn't get through to me in timely manner. Glad I checked back - equanimity is a blessing of a skill, one I have sought to muster myself. Conversely, one of the things I did have to learn was when to not be so cool, calm and collected, and actually 'bite back' as it were, for there was a danger (perhaps by also having to combat misogeny) of becoming a doormat. Or worse. YAM xx
Equanimity is a useful skill to have. If only it was something that everyone exhibited.
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